Dear
,
I have every confidence you'll just scroll to the end of this letter and ignore everything I say in this letter. But goddammit, I'm writing it anyway. I'm writing this open letter, because by this point, it's less an issue of "will you listen to me" and more an issue of "you're so full of shit you don't even know how full of shit you are, and the world is never going to stop hearing about it until you stop being full of shit", and it's more for the benefit of those people who blindly assume that you've actually got literary ability. Which you don't, because you're a lazy bum who refuses to listen to criticism even when they give it to you
nicely.
You know? My good friend ColonelDeFraug once told me that there were times in my life where I would have to choose who I was being an ass to. In my case? The kiddie gloves are coming off. Oh, they came off a long-ass time ago, but I just thought I'd enlighten you on that. So let's get started, right?
"Ok mate I just want to make somethings absolutely clear!"
You've been trying to make things "clear" to me for a long time, but your arguments are so disingenuous it's almost appalling. But okay, I'll humor you. What do you want to make clear?
"Fist the reason why I called you a troll was because of the fact that you didn't let go after your fist comment but I fed you which lead you to make a letter to me. Ok now I can look passed the PM's but that letter just proved to me that you are a troll."
First of all, EP, the word you're looking for is "first". I highly doubt that I left a comment to you in which I threatened to punch you in the face, though I'm tempted to make such a comment
now because I'm getting pretty sick of your bullshit.
Second, if you hadn't continually ignored every criticism I leveled at you and your fic, if you hadn't done that even when I was being
charitable to you, if you hadn't done the same thing to ErtTheKing (and trust me, I'll get to that in a bit), and if you hadn't acted like a
baby who had spilled his milk all over the place when people did that,
I would never have written that open letter! You let it get to that point, EP. Now, I'm a strict practitioner of "always give the benefit of the doubt until the person either proves they won't take your suggestions seriously, or they offend you in a deeply personal way". You proved
well beyond the point you needed to that you would go to the ends of the earth if it meant protecting your precious little plagiarism from harm, and that bred a deep,
deep contempt for you.
"Next yeah I have a spelling problem and spellcheck doesn't always help let me give you an example.
'their was a bird in the forest.'
Now I know for a fact that is is the wrong spelling but there are times when I do not recognise the right spelling."
Recognize*, and that is why you use a
dictionary! "Oh, but I don't want a book by my side", you might say. Um, you realize that the entire Merriam-Webster Dictionary is available online, right? You can enter something into Google and get directed to the right spelling of it in today's world. You can look up the proper spelling of things, and you can also look up which "there/their/they're" is the right one to use. You can go to merriam-webster.com and you can look up the word you want so you can find its correct spelling. All that can take
ten seconds, at
most!So
please shut up with your "I have a spelling problem" excuse. If there are things you can do about your spelling problems and you're not doing them, you have
no room to say otherwise!
"Final thing yes I plagiarised Harms1 story but I did ask if I could use it as a template which was a bad idea."
Have you not been listening to
a single thing I have been
saying to you? Yes, I know you asked if you could use it as a template. Hell, I even used it in the open letter that you were so quick to not listen to!
The thing is that you're
completely misinterpreting the issue! The issue is
not that you're using InHarmsWay's fic as a template! Anyone can use the basic ideas of a fic and build from there! The issue is that
you did not simply use InHarmsWay's fic as a template!!! You used his text too!!! To me, "using a story as a template" implies that you're taking the basic idea of the story and writing your own words and ideas around it. That's it. Just the idea. "Using a story as a template" does
not imply that you're blatantly copy-pasting entire chapters of another person's work and changing up every twentieth word if it happens to be a name and then passing
that up as your own work! Sure, you may have had original scenes in there, but all those scenes were drowned out by your blatant plagiarism everywhere else up until you felt you had run out of material to steal.
You. Stole. His. Material. There is
no amount of permission in the
world that makes stealing his words okay. Using his
ideas, that's a different story. But you used his
words, too, instead of putting in the
effort to relate similar/the same ideas with
your own fucking words. And
that is not acceptable.
"But so what/ seriously I know where I went wrong I was just hoping to get it done before I could redo it."
If you do in fact know where you went wrong, you sure have done fuck all to prove it to me. And on that note...
"so if you don't believe me then your more of a fool then I thought T R O L L."
Oh, honey, it's not that I don't believe you: it's that you don't give me
reason to believe anything you say. You told me you would take all the help you could get, and then you
refused to take that help when someone actually tried to give it to you. By doing that, you proved to me that you're untrustworthy.
And by the way, it's not just a question of "belief" in this case. It's a question of "you are wrong about this, and this is
why you are wrong about it". Talking about something that is
factually incorrect and then making it look like a question of "belief" rather than a question of "facts" is a disingenuous tactic.
So go ahead. Believe that I'm some kind of fool. I frankly won't lose any sleep over the fact that you think I'm some kind of fool considering that you are a colossal,
collosal idiot.So that's all I have to say in response to your open letter.
Oh, but I'm not done yet. See, after my open letter, you know that ErtTheKing reviewed your fic, right? Well, you left a reply to him via PM. Since you blocked him for rightly calling you on your shit, I'm going to reply for him, because he shared your reply with me.
"ok let me clear a few things up fist FAW was my fist fanfic so it's bound to be bad"
And yet every subsequent fanfic you have written since then is just as badly-spelled and just as badly-written as FAW even without the blatant plagiarism, not to mention that in some cases the moral content is even
worse than what was seen in
FAW. (I'm tempted to see if I can send any human traffickers in your direction: at least that way, you'd see how horrible sexual slavery really is so you will never,
ever romanticize it again.) Also, I'm so glad you're using an excuse that most bad fanfiction authors claim when they try to defend their bad fic instead of, I don't know, taking advice from other readers to better their writing. Because you don't get to claim this excuse when all you've done is call people "trolls" when they try to tell you how you could be a better author.
"an i'm serously concidering rewite."
Which I don't support, for reasons I'll get to in a bit.
"now onto herr, IF HE DIDN'T DO THAT STUPIT LETTER THEN I WOULDN'T CALL HIM A TROLL! it's as simple as that!"
I already told you that I wrote that "stupid" ("stupid", not "stupit") open letter because you forced my hand. It's as simple as that, and I don't think I need to reiterate that point again, yeah?.
"in fact your friend did give me some feedback but in a NEGATIVE WAY."
First of all, the only time I was negative when I started reviewing your fic was when calling you out on your homophobia in relation to some of the things found in
From Another World. That was
it. I tried to be nice in every other respect. But no, you just
had to stop listening to me.
"now when i read the letter i din't find anything that would surpport the idea that he would like the rewite"
Good, I'm glad you noticed that. Because I
don't support that rewrite, not after you continually ignored our criticisms even when people were being
nice to you.
"and i did read his fic and found it boring."
I've read the posts of several people on the TVTropes forums that said nasty things about the "self-indulgent crap" that was
Mass Vexations, so in the grand scheme of things "boring" isn't that bad. It's just hilarious that it's coming from the thief who apparently needs to steal, or else he's guilty of being
really boring--well, when he's not busy being completely offensive, anyway.
"now i know you too are friends but doing this just makes me lose respect for the both of you."
You say that like you respected Ert in the first place. 'Cause let me tell you this: he told me that he actually
laughed out loud when he read that sentence.
Here's the thing: you do
not show respect to someone who has offered to be your beta reader by telling them to just write half the fic himself. If you
had respected ErtTheKing, you would have taken his advice and fixed your fic by yourself. You were
not being respectful at all, and you offer
more validation of your complete idiocy if you think you were.
And as for
why your approach to his criticism doesn't work... well, I'll get to that.
"I DO HAVE A LIFE YOU KNOW and that can facor in my writing but it seems that you don't know that!"
Bitch, I'm busy getting a doctoral degree in a highly competitive field where I constantly have to create new creative work on top of all my assignments and practicing instruments that I do for other things. I have a life, and I can
still find time to write chapters that are sometimes 10,000+ words long
and write those long-ass Library of the Damned snarkings too! Ert is busy balancing his third year in college and a job, and he's produced half a million words of fallout/ME fanfic himself,
and also produced Library of the Damned snarkings on top of that! And guess what? We've
both managed to produce chapters that are less full of mistakes than your writings.
So that leads me to this:
"and if you did you would think about it before doing things like this."
Right back at ya, EP. Right back at ya.
"yest i know the fic is artous and so on."
Then why are you still
defending it?
"now i know i use this care"
And
this is why you go to an online dictionary, 'cause I'll be
damned if I can tell what the fuck you're trying to say here.
"but let me make something clear i live in a house full of women with no dad. how i got this sexist writing i have no bloody clue."
Here's a novel concept: why do you think I
care where you got it from? Why do you think I
care about the composition of your household? 'Cause here's a newsflash: I don't care if you came from a fucking
planet that was inhabited by women! That doesn't change the fact that
your writing is sexist on a deep level, and that you haven't done a single goddamn thing to fix that!
This right here should be an indication to you, and to
anyone who is reading this open letter, that you don't want to fix your writing. Because here's the thing: if you really
wanted to fix your writing, you would
not have said "but I grew up in a house of women, I have no idea how I've got sexist writing". You would've said "how do I fix it". You're not interested in improving as a writer if your modus operandi of dealing with criticism is to hurl excuses like this at anyone who
dares criticize you.
"ho and if i need to ask for help don't worry i won't ask you cos as far as i'm concerned you woun'd change anything just becuase i said you could. if that's not helping i don't know what is."
No, telling him "write this fic for me" is
not helping, because
you don't learn jack shit from telling someone to do your work for you! It's not just that it's intellectually dishonest. It's not just that it's bitchy as all hell to say that when he tells you how it is. No, it's also that
you don't learn anything unless you do it yourself! Having him write your fic for you would
not have helped you, because you would not have
learned how to be a better author on your own.
So EP, just... please. Shut up. It's not that I don't believe you, it's that you don't know what you're talking about. You want me to stop being a bitch to you? Perhaps you should actually take our criticisms seriously instead of fishing for excuses all the damn time.
But you'll never change. You'll never stop fishing for excuses. You'll never stop trying to make yourself look like you're right. You'll never stop any of that, because you're too damn
lazy to use the brain that God gave you. I have every confidence that everything I have just written will have gone right over your head because you would prefer to think you are God's gift to mankind instead of facing the fact that you have done some terrible,
terrible things.
So kindly don't engage me on this topic again. If you respond to this open letter, I
will respond so people see you for the moronic
comemierda that you are.
Yours Truly,
Herr Wozzeck.